When Coaches Expect the Mentor Coach to "Fix" Them: A Roadblock to Real Growth
One of the most challenging moments in a coach’s journey is receiving a performance evaluation that doesn’t meet the mark. Whether it’s failing to meet ICF credentialing standards or simply receiving tough feedback, the sting of knowing you haven’t yet reached the expected level can leave you feeling stuck, frustrated, and eager for solutions. In these moments, it’s tempting to look to your mentor coach as someone who can "fix" you, solve the problem, and help you pass the next time around.
But here’s the truth: mentor coaching isn’t about fixing—it’s about facilitating growth.
In this article, we’ll explore why expecting your mentor coach to "fix" your coaching can be a roadblock to your own development and how reframing your approach can open the door to genuine learning, improvement, and mastery.
1. Mentor Coaches Can’t Do the Work for You
One of the most important lessons in mentor coaching is that no one can do the work for you. It’s natural to want quick solutions after a performance failure. You may want your mentor to tell you exactly what went wrong, provide a checklist of fixes, and guarantee you’ll ace the next evaluation. But that’s not how development works.
The best mentor coaches guide you through the process of self-discovery and improvement, rather than handing you a pre-packaged solution. They can help you uncover why certain areas of your coaching didn’t meet the standard and offer guidance on how to improve, but the real work—reflection, practice, and internalizing new skills—has to come from you.
Shift in Mindset: Instead of asking, "What did I do wrong?" ask, "What can I learn from this experience, and how can I apply that learning in my practice?"
2. The Focus Should Be on Growth, Not Passing an Evaluation
It’s easy to get fixated on the outcome of passing or failing an evaluation. But mentor coaching is not just about helping you pass a test or earn a credential; it’s about growing into a more effective and aware coach. When the focus is purely on passing, you miss out on the deeper learning that can transform your practice.
The problem with a "fix me" mentality is that it frames coaching development as a quick fix rather than a continuous process. Growth in coaching is not linear, and the areas where you struggle the most are often the places where the richest learning can occur. A mentor coach helps you explore those areas in depth—not just to pass a test, but to build long-term coaching mastery.
Shift in Mindset: Move from "How can I pass?" to "How can I grow into a coach who consistently demonstrates the core competencies?"
3. Mentor Coaches Offer Reflection, Not Just Correction
One of the greatest misconceptions about mentor coaching is that it’s all about correcting your mistakes. Yes, a mentor coach will provide feedback on what needs improvement, but great mentoring goes beyond that. It invites you to reflect on your practice, consider alternative approaches, and understand why certain strategies didn’t work.
For example, if you receive feedback that you weren’t fully present during a session, it’s not just about fixing your attention. A mentor coach will help you reflect on what distracted you. Was it your desire to solve the client’s problem? Was it nervousness or self-consciousness about being evaluated? By exploring the deeper reasons behind your behavior, you can make more meaningful and lasting improvements.
Shift in Mindset: Instead of asking, "What should I do differently next time?" ask, "Why did I approach it that way, and how can I shift my mindset to be more present in the future?"
4. Failure Is a Catalyst for Self-Awareness
Performance evaluation failures can feel like major setbacks, but they’re also opportunities for self-awareness. Many coaches who fail evaluations assume that their technical skills are lacking, when in reality, the issue might be something deeper—like their mindset, assumptions about coaching, or the way they relate to clients.
Mentor coaches excel at helping you see your blind spots. They create a space where you can reflect not just on what you did during a session but also on who you were being in that session. Were you overly directive? Were you coaching to your client’s agenda, or to your own? Were you making assumptions about the client’s needs based on your own biases?
This level of self-awareness is essential for long-term success in coaching, but it requires openness to feedback and a willingness to explore uncomfortable truths.
Shift in Mindset: Instead of viewing failure as a judgment of your abilities, see it as an invitation to become more self-aware and deepen your practice.
5. Your Mentor Coach Is a Partner, Not a Fixer
It’s important to remember that your mentor coach is there to partner with you in your growth. They aren’t there to fix you or provide all the answers. The most effective mentoring relationships are those where both mentor and mentee are actively engaged in the process of discovery, reflection, and practice.
Your mentor coach will ask thought-provoking questions, offer feedback, and challenge you to push beyond your current level of skill—but ultimately, the change has to come from within. When you approach mentoring with a mindset of partnership rather than dependency, you empower yourself to take ownership of your development.
Shift in Mindset: Instead of asking, "Can you fix this for me?" ask, "How can we partner together to identify the areas where I can grow?"
6. Reframe Performance Failures as Stepping Stones
Finally, it’s crucial to reframe performance failures as part of the coaching journey. Even the most experienced coaches encounter feedback that forces them to rethink their approach. Every failure is an opportunity to learn, recalibrate, and improve.
Mentor coaching is the perfect environment for this type of growth because it provides a safe space to experiment, make mistakes, and learn from them. Rather than seeing a performance evaluation failure as a setback, see it as a stepping stone that brings you closer to becoming the coach you aspire to be.
Shift in Mindset: Embrace the idea that each failure brings you one step closer to mastery. Trust the process and allow yourself to grow through the discomfort.
Conclusion: Don’t Seek Fixes, Seek Growth
At its core, mentor coaching is about guiding you through a process of self-discovery and growth. Expecting your mentor coach to "fix" you after a performance failure limits your ability to engage in the deeper learning that can truly transform your coaching practice. By shifting your mindset from seeking fixes to seeking growth, you’ll open yourself up to the type of development that lasts beyond the next evaluation and into your lifelong coaching career.
Are you ready to move beyond quick fixes and dive into meaningful growth? Let’s start a conversation about how mentor coaching can help you unlock your full potential.